Lately, I have had a thought. This thought consists of me not going to UBC nor living in Vancouver, and working at the Pet Store as a lifer. I mean, why not? The girls I work with are amazingly nice, and I have found a great friend in a co-worker, so really, why not stay?
I am only thinking hypothetically of course, I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life, I couldn't handle myself.
UBC and Vancouer are my dreams, and I don't know what good karma I have built up (saving a puppy from a burning building? that never happened. Jokes) But I am getting both my dreams. I really WANT them, but I don't know if I am ready; I am scared shitless (for lack of a better colloquialism). I just don't know what to expect, it all doesn't feel very real right now. It wont feel real until my second week in, I betcha.
It seems like all the friends that are going down to Vancouver too, are confident and ready. They just seem like they've got it, yanno? I don't feel confident at all. I feel like I am running around in the dark, grasping for some bit of reality to make me feel grounded, like this is all really happening in my life. Reflecting back, my highschool life, I just floated through. This happened, that happened, but I just kept going on, and then graduation happened, I floated through that (did grad even happen? jury is still out...) and now here is university on my doorstep and I don't have any twin XL sheets for my matress pad. Where on Earth, am I supposed to find twin XL sheets?
I leave for Vancouver in 28 days and I have no sheets, nor an iPod. Yes, I am missing my iPod... without sounding like a pretention ass, I miss my iPod like I miss friends. I am so attached to it. Simply buying a new one just isn't the same.
But I digress... I suppose it's time to put on my big girl shoes and start packing my bags... Vancouver and my life are happening, and I'd like to be present for it this time.
Love, peace, and packing lists,
Sam.
3 comments:
I agree about grad. It felt like an extremely short period of time. Like nothing even happened.
I dunno... it just seems that highschool was this huge part of our life, and then grad had so much hype, then all of a sudden it was over. Just like that, a huge chapter in life was over. To bed at 3am, woke up eight hours later a graduate.
I feel like it's not over. Like I'm going back in September. It's going to be weird, driving by, seeing rows of cars parked, but not going in.
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