You know, it's strange where peace can be found: concerts, meditation, yoga, storms, nature, ect. Personally, I never have a set place where I find peace; it kind of just hits me. Now, I'm not talking about some kind of enlightened state; just the feeling that everything in your life is balanced, and your mind is quiet. My mind is rarely quiet, and those who know me, know that I usually talk a mile a minute, and jump from topic to topic quite frequently. But, tonight I found absolute peace.
I was driving home from my friends house, she lives in the country, and it was raining and lightening. I drove with my window down, so I could hear and smell the rain. Everything was a deep indigo colour; the most beautiful blue. I was listening to Fleet Foxes, a staple band for me, one that I listen to quite often to calm my mind. Just the coolness of the air, the smell of the rain, the lightening, to melodic quality of the music, and the openess of the empty road, I was at peace: utter, absolute peace. I was just being: breathing in and out. Nothing mattered, just complete calm.
I cherish these moments in my life, where everything just seems to fall into place, everything works together in a symbiotic orchestra: nothing out of tune or beat.
This moment to me is a great end to my summer, essentially. In a weeks time, my friends are starting to move, I only have two weeks left in Dawson before I move. It's time to accept that my life is changing and everything that is happening and has been happening for the past ten months, is real. It's time to start packing and saying my goodbyes (Until December!). It doesn't matter if I'm not ready anymore, life is moving on with or without me.
Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Where are you, my dear friend?
Today was a hard day. Today was my great-aunties funeral, and I still worked a full day on top of that. I had a bit of a meltdown at the funeral. It wasn't really the fact that she was gone, I mean, atleast she isn't suffering anymore, it was more the fact that my grandpa was really tourn about it, and my grandma. They're two people I really don't want to see sad. Not to mention, it kind of gave me a reality check about the mortality of them. You never think about when someone is going to die... why would you? To me, my gradparents are invisible, or were... but today seeing Bev's granddaughters deliver her eulogy, it hit to close to somewhere I don't want to call home. I love my grandparent's a lot, both sets, and I don't want these reminders of a human's life, and how it eventually all has to end. Not everyone lives forever.
This all leaves me sitting here, alone in my room in the dark, listening to music wishing I had someone to talk to. It's 3am and there really isn't anyone online, not that I would really spill most of my thoughts right now to someone who just happened to be online. I know I wont be sleeping tonight.
This is where I miss my iPod. I know, it sounds so silly, it's just a electronic device... but really it's more than that.
I am a chronic insomniac sometimes. I have a tendency to over think things; it's tiring. I tend to do this abundance of thinking usually in the wee hours in the morning. All this thinking severely inhibits my sleep... to nearly nothing.
You see, music helps this. With music (and amazing noise cancelling headphones!) I can drown out my own thoughts. I can lose myself in the lyrics and the beat, or in pleasent memory that is attached to a particular song. I can concentrate on something that isn't happening in my head, I can concentrate on someone else... someone else's thoughts. One could suggest I can just put a CD on in my stereo and call it good... but that wont work. I wish it would. I don't know how to explain this... but with headphone, especially the kind I have, it's like the music I am lisiting to, is my thoughts. The words, the beats and how they all work together take over my brain, they cancel out every ounce of what ever was troubling it and replaces it with a song. With a stereo, it's just background music, it's there, but I can still hear my thoughts over it... when the music is right in my ears, in my head, in my brain, it's not background music... it's me, it's apart of me. This is really the reason I am so picky about my music. I'm not being some pretentious ass, who wants to flaunt indie music genious... it's because the music I chose to listen to, I am letting be apart of me. Music, for the most part, is there for me than most people are. Now, this isn't a poor me, poor me thing, I know I have people in my life that care for me and that I could call at anytime and they'd listen to me and be there for me, but just not in the same way. I could sit there for hours and try to articulte to someone else my thoughts and how I was feeling, but it wouldn't stop the thought, it would just make it grow, even after the conversation stopped. I do talk to people when I need too, but for a lot of the time, I just don't want to talk about it.
Basically, I miss my iPod and I miss a thoughtless sleep. I miss sleep period. I miss my auntie Bev and I miss some friends I don't talk to nearly enough anymore.
Peace, love and thoughtless nights,
Sam.
PS.
A happier post is coming soon, I swear.
This all leaves me sitting here, alone in my room in the dark, listening to music wishing I had someone to talk to. It's 3am and there really isn't anyone online, not that I would really spill most of my thoughts right now to someone who just happened to be online. I know I wont be sleeping tonight.
This is where I miss my iPod. I know, it sounds so silly, it's just a electronic device... but really it's more than that.
I am a chronic insomniac sometimes. I have a tendency to over think things; it's tiring. I tend to do this abundance of thinking usually in the wee hours in the morning. All this thinking severely inhibits my sleep... to nearly nothing.
You see, music helps this. With music (and amazing noise cancelling headphones!) I can drown out my own thoughts. I can lose myself in the lyrics and the beat, or in pleasent memory that is attached to a particular song. I can concentrate on something that isn't happening in my head, I can concentrate on someone else... someone else's thoughts. One could suggest I can just put a CD on in my stereo and call it good... but that wont work. I wish it would. I don't know how to explain this... but with headphone, especially the kind I have, it's like the music I am lisiting to, is my thoughts. The words, the beats and how they all work together take over my brain, they cancel out every ounce of what ever was troubling it and replaces it with a song. With a stereo, it's just background music, it's there, but I can still hear my thoughts over it... when the music is right in my ears, in my head, in my brain, it's not background music... it's me, it's apart of me. This is really the reason I am so picky about my music. I'm not being some pretentious ass, who wants to flaunt indie music genious... it's because the music I chose to listen to, I am letting be apart of me. Music, for the most part, is there for me than most people are. Now, this isn't a poor me, poor me thing, I know I have people in my life that care for me and that I could call at anytime and they'd listen to me and be there for me, but just not in the same way. I could sit there for hours and try to articulte to someone else my thoughts and how I was feeling, but it wouldn't stop the thought, it would just make it grow, even after the conversation stopped. I do talk to people when I need too, but for a lot of the time, I just don't want to talk about it.
Basically, I miss my iPod and I miss a thoughtless sleep. I miss sleep period. I miss my auntie Bev and I miss some friends I don't talk to nearly enough anymore.
Peace, love and thoughtless nights,
Sam.
PS.
A happier post is coming soon, I swear.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Body Image & Folk Music
This blog is going to come to you in two parts! Part one, being body image, and the second being folk music... and it's sweet sweet twangy goodness.
Part One:
Sometimes, I need to sit back and take a deep breathe. And never, ever read a magazine again. I know it's common knowledge, but our society is obsessed whole heartily with body image. Magazines tell women which food will make them shed pounds the quickest, while tabloids call the next slim star anorexic. In a society of celebrity worship, when the stars are too thin, what is just right? I know, in a perfect world, we'd all be healthy, happy, and accepting of another and what every single one of us looks like. But this isn't a perfect world, lets be honest here. This hatred is personified through thousands upon thousands of facebook groups hating on those who are overweight. "Hey Fatty, don't you just look lovely in those leggings" "leggings and skinny jeans should have a weight limit" are just two examples of the hate that goes around the 'net. It gets even worse, with comments saying "I'd rather throw myself out of a window than have a yucky body like that" or "fat chicks should be put on a separate island." The hate also reaches the other end of the spectrum, with "skinny people" hate. Now, I don't want to make excuses for either side, hate is hate. Basically, I am just frustrated: facebook groups, magazines, TV, everything... how is a person supposed to know what they're supposed to look like... Well here's the thing... you're not. You're supposed to look like you. Now go, get up and go look in the mirror. Take a good look. You see the eyes staring back you? The shape of the nose? The Curve of the mouth? Perhaps the indent of your hips, the curves of you stomach (or lack of), how much your ears stick out... this is all you and this is what you're supposed to look like. No like Lohan, Hilton, Spears or who ever else is in the tabloids. You are supposed to look like you. You only have on body, one vessel to live in while you're on Earth. This body you are given, should be treated with respect and dignity. Feed it well, exercise it, love and cherish it. Most of all, love those around you. Not for their weight, but for them. They have bodies and minds too, that need to be cherished, just like yours. Remember, especially women who can be so cruel to themselves and others, an attack on one, is an attack on all. Just because someone's nasty comment isn't directed directly at you, it doesn't mean it doesn't include you. Hate is hate. So basically, be happy, be healthy, be loved and spread love. Life is too short to be hating on everything!
Part Two:
Folk music, oh how I love thee.
'nuff said.
Peace, love and banjos,
Sam.
Part One:
Sometimes, I need to sit back and take a deep breathe. And never, ever read a magazine again. I know it's common knowledge, but our society is obsessed whole heartily with body image. Magazines tell women which food will make them shed pounds the quickest, while tabloids call the next slim star anorexic. In a society of celebrity worship, when the stars are too thin, what is just right? I know, in a perfect world, we'd all be healthy, happy, and accepting of another and what every single one of us looks like. But this isn't a perfect world, lets be honest here. This hatred is personified through thousands upon thousands of facebook groups hating on those who are overweight. "Hey Fatty, don't you just look lovely in those leggings" "leggings and skinny jeans should have a weight limit" are just two examples of the hate that goes around the 'net. It gets even worse, with comments saying "I'd rather throw myself out of a window than have a yucky body like that" or "fat chicks should be put on a separate island." The hate also reaches the other end of the spectrum, with "skinny people" hate. Now, I don't want to make excuses for either side, hate is hate. Basically, I am just frustrated: facebook groups, magazines, TV, everything... how is a person supposed to know what they're supposed to look like... Well here's the thing... you're not. You're supposed to look like you. Now go, get up and go look in the mirror. Take a good look. You see the eyes staring back you? The shape of the nose? The Curve of the mouth? Perhaps the indent of your hips, the curves of you stomach (or lack of), how much your ears stick out... this is all you and this is what you're supposed to look like. No like Lohan, Hilton, Spears or who ever else is in the tabloids. You are supposed to look like you. You only have on body, one vessel to live in while you're on Earth. This body you are given, should be treated with respect and dignity. Feed it well, exercise it, love and cherish it. Most of all, love those around you. Not for their weight, but for them. They have bodies and minds too, that need to be cherished, just like yours. Remember, especially women who can be so cruel to themselves and others, an attack on one, is an attack on all. Just because someone's nasty comment isn't directed directly at you, it doesn't mean it doesn't include you. Hate is hate. So basically, be happy, be healthy, be loved and spread love. Life is too short to be hating on everything!
Part Two:
Folk music, oh how I love thee.
'nuff said.
Peace, love and banjos,
Sam.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Some Polonius-ish Advice
So, as a recent grad I feel the (nearly egotistical) need to send some Polonius like adivce to some recent seniors!
This year is going to to by so quickly! I can't even express how fast it's going to go. It feels like at one moment you are walking through the doors on your first day, then the next you're paying your grad fees. Which you should do early, don't wait last minute to pay your grad fees. This year coming up for you is going to be hectic at best. Between actually school work and prom ect. it gets to be a lot on your plate. Don't stress too much about prom, and a prom date. It will all work out. Remember, your prom escort (escort sounds better than date) isn't going to be the man or woman you marry (or maybe you will?) it can be just a friend, or even someone's brother. I went with just a friend, and it was perfectly fine. It's maybe even a little better going with just a friend then you don't have all that weird couply pressure, yanno? And plus, if you two break up your prom photos wont be you and your ex-girl/boyfriend. The closer you get to being finished, the more friendly teachers get. Everyone has that one teacher they got close with, that became almost like a mentor throughout school, saying goodbye to this teacher is sad, nearly more sad than saying goodbye to some of your friends. Oh yes, when you're at prom and you're walking down redcarpet, it's going to be very overwhelming. EVERYONE takes your picture, not just people you know... EVERYONE. Remember, head high, one leg infront of the other, shoulders back, big smile. Coffee is your friend, don't hate on coffee and don't hate on the people who make you your coffee. These people are like little angels sent to you with cups full of love. If you develop a minor caffeine addiction, don't fret... it will only prepare you for your next university year. Remember all the little details of your life around you right now. This is your last year and a student at SPSS and all the little things are going to matter when you're gone and want to keep memories. Don't be one of those people who live their senior year through the lens of a camera. I know those memories are important to document, but some of the best memories come at those times that are unplanned. Be spontanious... so you're seitting in the middle of class and a freak rainstorm happens. Grab the hall pass, find a friend and go out and dance in that rain. This year, especially near grad, people you haven't talked to in the last five years will all of a sudden want to become your bestfriend. Don't fight it, invite it. Put past grudges and fights behind you and have fun. This is your last year with all of these people, the least you can do is save the drama and let the past stay there. Live in the moment. Under your grad gown, wear something REALLY comfurtable. And also, girls, don't bobbypin your cap on... you take it off and on so many times it doesn't really matter. You move the tassel right to left. When choosing a university, don't listen to what everyone is telling you, you SHOULD do, do you WANT to do, and what feels right for you. I know it doesn't sound practical, but when thinking about money don't. Your education is important enough to go in debt for. Loan it, scholarship it, borrow it, I don't care, but this is your future. If George busts you in the hallways, chat him up about Norman Rockwell or argue the differences of a comic and a graphic novel. Enjoy every moment, every single moment. All the laughs, all the tears all the drama. Remember it all. Enjoy it all. And don't get caught up in it being your last year!
Peace, love and grad caps,
Sam.
This year is going to to by so quickly! I can't even express how fast it's going to go. It feels like at one moment you are walking through the doors on your first day, then the next you're paying your grad fees. Which you should do early, don't wait last minute to pay your grad fees. This year coming up for you is going to be hectic at best. Between actually school work and prom ect. it gets to be a lot on your plate. Don't stress too much about prom, and a prom date. It will all work out. Remember, your prom escort (escort sounds better than date) isn't going to be the man or woman you marry (or maybe you will?) it can be just a friend, or even someone's brother. I went with just a friend, and it was perfectly fine. It's maybe even a little better going with just a friend then you don't have all that weird couply pressure, yanno? And plus, if you two break up your prom photos wont be you and your ex-girl/boyfriend. The closer you get to being finished, the more friendly teachers get. Everyone has that one teacher they got close with, that became almost like a mentor throughout school, saying goodbye to this teacher is sad, nearly more sad than saying goodbye to some of your friends. Oh yes, when you're at prom and you're walking down redcarpet, it's going to be very overwhelming. EVERYONE takes your picture, not just people you know... EVERYONE. Remember, head high, one leg infront of the other, shoulders back, big smile. Coffee is your friend, don't hate on coffee and don't hate on the people who make you your coffee. These people are like little angels sent to you with cups full of love. If you develop a minor caffeine addiction, don't fret... it will only prepare you for your next university year. Remember all the little details of your life around you right now. This is your last year and a student at SPSS and all the little things are going to matter when you're gone and want to keep memories. Don't be one of those people who live their senior year through the lens of a camera. I know those memories are important to document, but some of the best memories come at those times that are unplanned. Be spontanious... so you're seitting in the middle of class and a freak rainstorm happens. Grab the hall pass, find a friend and go out and dance in that rain. This year, especially near grad, people you haven't talked to in the last five years will all of a sudden want to become your bestfriend. Don't fight it, invite it. Put past grudges and fights behind you and have fun. This is your last year with all of these people, the least you can do is save the drama and let the past stay there. Live in the moment. Under your grad gown, wear something REALLY comfurtable. And also, girls, don't bobbypin your cap on... you take it off and on so many times it doesn't really matter. You move the tassel right to left. When choosing a university, don't listen to what everyone is telling you, you SHOULD do, do you WANT to do, and what feels right for you. I know it doesn't sound practical, but when thinking about money don't. Your education is important enough to go in debt for. Loan it, scholarship it, borrow it, I don't care, but this is your future. If George busts you in the hallways, chat him up about Norman Rockwell or argue the differences of a comic and a graphic novel. Enjoy every moment, every single moment. All the laughs, all the tears all the drama. Remember it all. Enjoy it all. And don't get caught up in it being your last year!
Peace, love and grad caps,
Sam.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I'm Having a Depressing Personal Moment. I apologize.
So, this blog post is going to be really out of character I guess, kind of depressing and self deprecating, I'm sorry. But I just need to write out my feelings to try and keep track of what is going through my brain.
You know, I'm a happy person. I love the smalls things in life like jumping on ice and cracking it or the way sunlight catches water and casts a rainbow. I am a happy person. But, to put it in simple terms, I'm more Meredeth Grey than Izzie Stevens. I'm not simple, I come with me and about forty luggage bags of baggage and I'm only eighteen. I don't sleep, I'm a bloody insomniac, I read Russian literature and call it beautiful, I listen to folk music and Jay-Z, I can quote Gilmore Girls and usually make really awkward pop culture references, I think Family Guy is funny, I cry during movies and refuse to applaud after watching a movie in the theatre, university makes me excited even though I get paralyzing fear of moving to a city I've never really explored, I never would have made it through highschool without coffee and my person, I've never had a boyfriend, I hate diamonds and gold, I will gladly spend all my money on coffee, books and music, I stress bake to make myself feel better, I rarely watch TV, I drink cups of tea, I volunteer because I love helping people I like the feeling it gives me and I like making a change in someone else's life for the better... I don't do it for the title or for school credits, I want to travel with just my backpack and my camera and go where ever I want, I want an adventure, I love easily and get hurt easily, I hate sitting on a chair someone else just sat in because of their residual ass warmth, I have good days and bad days with self esteem, I listen to bands people haven't heard of... not to be oh so cool but because to me you can still feel the human emotion behind the music, trust doesn't come easy to me, I live in my head, I love to talk, I love movies, I am a very proud Canadian but can see the flaws in my country, I realize that home isn't where your house is home is where you're happy and can be anywhere at anytime, I can about the environment and hate people who think Global Warming is a hoax, I am confused about 90% of the time and usually have no idea what I'm doing but I do it anyway...
I understand all that crap about "one day love will happen for you" and blah blah blah... but for once, I would like to be able to have a name for what I'm feeling right now, because I don't.
You know, I'm a happy person. I love the smalls things in life like jumping on ice and cracking it or the way sunlight catches water and casts a rainbow. I am a happy person. But, to put it in simple terms, I'm more Meredeth Grey than Izzie Stevens. I'm not simple, I come with me and about forty luggage bags of baggage and I'm only eighteen. I don't sleep, I'm a bloody insomniac, I read Russian literature and call it beautiful, I listen to folk music and Jay-Z, I can quote Gilmore Girls and usually make really awkward pop culture references, I think Family Guy is funny, I cry during movies and refuse to applaud after watching a movie in the theatre, university makes me excited even though I get paralyzing fear of moving to a city I've never really explored, I never would have made it through highschool without coffee and my person, I've never had a boyfriend, I hate diamonds and gold, I will gladly spend all my money on coffee, books and music, I stress bake to make myself feel better, I rarely watch TV, I drink cups of tea, I volunteer because I love helping people I like the feeling it gives me and I like making a change in someone else's life for the better... I don't do it for the title or for school credits, I want to travel with just my backpack and my camera and go where ever I want, I want an adventure, I love easily and get hurt easily, I hate sitting on a chair someone else just sat in because of their residual ass warmth, I have good days and bad days with self esteem, I listen to bands people haven't heard of... not to be oh so cool but because to me you can still feel the human emotion behind the music, trust doesn't come easy to me, I live in my head, I love to talk, I love movies, I am a very proud Canadian but can see the flaws in my country, I realize that home isn't where your house is home is where you're happy and can be anywhere at anytime, I can about the environment and hate people who think Global Warming is a hoax, I am confused about 90% of the time and usually have no idea what I'm doing but I do it anyway...
I understand all that crap about "one day love will happen for you" and blah blah blah... but for once, I would like to be able to have a name for what I'm feeling right now, because I don't.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I Can Be Alone, Yeah, I Can Watch A Sunset On My Own...
This blog post is brought to you by a big heaping helping of realization.
Okay, so, as of late, I've noticed a lot of negativity around me. Negativity in the sense of people hating the world, people hating themselves, people hating their situations ect. ect.
I COMPLETELY understand, it's perfectly normal to have FML moments in your life, I had like five to day, but you know what... why do we insist on dwelling on them? When in reality, no matter how much we dwell on them, it's not going to change the fact that they happened. See, in my head (it's a scary place in there), when you have a FML moment, you have two choices: 1) You can sit there, and let it stew in your head going over it again and again and again or 2) REACT, do something about it, take your life, in YOUR hands and fix what happened, or try and improve on what happened. We control those moments, and it's up to us to see the brighter side of everything to make it better. As a person, you can't just sit around waiting for other people to solve things for you. You have to take an active role in your world, and sometimes do it yourself. Now this doesn't mean going to friends or family with problems is a bad thing. Talking it through can be really healthy and cathartic. It's AMAZING to have those people in your life who you can trust openly. I'm just saying that you can talk it out, you can take opinions and suggestions, but at the end of the day, it's really up to you what you do.
So, in conclusion. Live a life full of happiness and positivity. Feel beautiful, surround yourself with beautiful things. Find people in your life who you can trust and make you feel loved. Don't dwell on the negative, instead, fix it. Look at the world as a glass half full, not half empty.
Love,
Sam.
PS. When all else fails, and your day is COMPLETE crap, turn on ABBA, and dance your ass off.
Okay, so, as of late, I've noticed a lot of negativity around me. Negativity in the sense of people hating the world, people hating themselves, people hating their situations ect. ect.
I COMPLETELY understand, it's perfectly normal to have FML moments in your life, I had like five to day, but you know what... why do we insist on dwelling on them? When in reality, no matter how much we dwell on them, it's not going to change the fact that they happened. See, in my head (it's a scary place in there), when you have a FML moment, you have two choices: 1) You can sit there, and let it stew in your head going over it again and again and again or 2) REACT, do something about it, take your life, in YOUR hands and fix what happened, or try and improve on what happened. We control those moments, and it's up to us to see the brighter side of everything to make it better. As a person, you can't just sit around waiting for other people to solve things for you. You have to take an active role in your world, and sometimes do it yourself. Now this doesn't mean going to friends or family with problems is a bad thing. Talking it through can be really healthy and cathartic. It's AMAZING to have those people in your life who you can trust openly. I'm just saying that you can talk it out, you can take opinions and suggestions, but at the end of the day, it's really up to you what you do.
So, in conclusion. Live a life full of happiness and positivity. Feel beautiful, surround yourself with beautiful things. Find people in your life who you can trust and make you feel loved. Don't dwell on the negative, instead, fix it. Look at the world as a glass half full, not half empty.
Love,
Sam.
PS. When all else fails, and your day is COMPLETE crap, turn on ABBA, and dance your ass off.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009 in Review
So, it's New Years Eve, the day where everyone gets nostalgic about the year passing, and hopeful about the year dawning. It's all good, but maybe we put too much hope into this twenty-four hours? After all, it is another day. I understand it's supposed to be this day of the dawning new year where we're supposed to be starting a new slate, wiped clean of '09s what-have-yous. Also true that this upcoming year is a new decade, we're supposed to be saying goodbye to the "aughts". To me, personally, the new year is a fresh start, because it's going to be the year that I start an entirely new life in. I'm going to be turning 18, going to University, possibly moving to Vancouver, it's going to be a big year, and a bittersweet year. This 2010, I have to say goodbye to highschool, and the kids I've been seeing everyday for five years. I also have to say goodbye to some of my bestfriends, and go on and make new college friends. I never really thought how hard it would be to say goodbye to some of my really good friends. I mean, some of them (one of them in particular) kept me sane during highschool. Now, we're going to be moving across the country from eachother. It's always this thought in the back of my mind that I really hope we stay in touch, but, really, from what we've been through together and how much we've grown together, I'm pretty positive that we can't grow apart. I know there are going to be some friends that I grow away from, that's normal. But there's a couple in particular, I don't want to ever lose contact with. There's one that I still want to be talking to when we're both sixty and in wheel chairs. Here's to Tonto and the Lone Ranger.
Now, onto slightly less depressing topics.
Sam's 2009 in Review!
So, 2009 was a pretty big year for me. I left the country for the first time and went to Cayo Coco, Cuba for my brothers wedding, and swam in the beautiful Caribbean.
I successfully started my grade 12 year, and now have five months till I graduate. I got my L, and get to get my N in two months! I took Literature 12, the best class, ever. I got a brokenheart, got over, moved on. I grew more confident with the person I am, and am getting to know the person I will be. I stopped really living for other people and started having some me time. I made new friends, lost some old ones, and reconnected with some drifted ones. My 2009 was a positive year, a good year. I don't regret a moment of it.
I never make New Years resolutions. I don't need some flimsy goal made at midnight to dictate my year. But, in 2010, I want to savour every moment I have, because I am moving in August to a different place, with new people. And I really want to appreciate everyday I have left with my friends, before we all go different ways.
So,
Here's to a new year, filled with big changes.
Love forever,
Tonto, Sammy, Samwise, Sammy Slamma Jamma, Re, Pie, Kid, and all those other names I get called.
Now, onto slightly less depressing topics.
Sam's 2009 in Review!
So, 2009 was a pretty big year for me. I left the country for the first time and went to Cayo Coco, Cuba for my brothers wedding, and swam in the beautiful Caribbean.
I successfully started my grade 12 year, and now have five months till I graduate. I got my L, and get to get my N in two months! I took Literature 12, the best class, ever. I got a brokenheart, got over, moved on. I grew more confident with the person I am, and am getting to know the person I will be. I stopped really living for other people and started having some me time. I made new friends, lost some old ones, and reconnected with some drifted ones. My 2009 was a positive year, a good year. I don't regret a moment of it.
I never make New Years resolutions. I don't need some flimsy goal made at midnight to dictate my year. But, in 2010, I want to savour every moment I have, because I am moving in August to a different place, with new people. And I really want to appreciate everyday I have left with my friends, before we all go different ways.
So,
Here's to a new year, filled with big changes.
Love forever,
Tonto, Sammy, Samwise, Sammy Slamma Jamma, Re, Pie, Kid, and all those other names I get called.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
TS Elliot
I don't want to be a hollow man. I don't want to join the ranks of those passionless, wantless, souless, sods who walk the earth, with nothing reflecting in their eyes, except that of is reflected back to them, from those of us who have souls.
I don't want to walk the dead, barren lands, with no way, no direction. I don't want to face the twinkle of that fading star. I don't want to stand on the banks of the tumid river, contemplating either or not to cross, or stay in my existence. Because, that's all I would be doing. Existing. Nothing more, nor, nothing less. Just a scarecrow. I don't want death's twilight kingdom to be my only hope, of a hopeless man, or, woman. I don't want to be empty. I don't want my memories of my passion to fade. I don't want that looming shadow to fall between my feelings and my actions. I want my world to begin and end with a bang.
Not a whimper.
I don't want to walk the dead, barren lands, with no way, no direction. I don't want to face the twinkle of that fading star. I don't want to stand on the banks of the tumid river, contemplating either or not to cross, or stay in my existence. Because, that's all I would be doing. Existing. Nothing more, nor, nothing less. Just a scarecrow. I don't want death's twilight kingdom to be my only hope, of a hopeless man, or, woman. I don't want to be empty. I don't want my memories of my passion to fade. I don't want that looming shadow to fall between my feelings and my actions. I want my world to begin and end with a bang.
Not a whimper.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Toronto
Hey all!
I should have updated you all when I was in Vancouver last night, but I forgot. Right now I am in Pearson international airport in Toronto, Ontario. Its all cloudy and overcast currently, this makes cuba all more inviting.
The flight last night was rough. It was an overnight flight, from midnight to 4am, which translates to 7am toronto time. So when we landed it wa 7am but it felt like 4. I slept a little on the plane, and watched yes, man. It was okay.
I just woke up from sleeping on the airport floor, excuse my writing. It's 10am here but 7am your guy's time. Ugh. I can't wait for a shower oh my god!
This is my first time in Toronto. It was also my first time in Vancouver. I don't remember much of it. I really wish I had something more intersting to update with, but I don't. The plane rides have been good, and I'm seriously lacking in sleep!
Oh! Interacters will appreciate this! I saw Stephen Lewis in the airport!
There were a couple people on my plane wearing swine flu masks, but it's not like outbreak or anything. That's good.
This will be my last update untill I'm on my way back, love ya'll, miss ya!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
I should have updated you all when I was in Vancouver last night, but I forgot. Right now I am in Pearson international airport in Toronto, Ontario. Its all cloudy and overcast currently, this makes cuba all more inviting.
The flight last night was rough. It was an overnight flight, from midnight to 4am, which translates to 7am toronto time. So when we landed it wa 7am but it felt like 4. I slept a little on the plane, and watched yes, man. It was okay.
I just woke up from sleeping on the airport floor, excuse my writing. It's 10am here but 7am your guy's time. Ugh. I can't wait for a shower oh my god!
This is my first time in Toronto. It was also my first time in Vancouver. I don't remember much of it. I really wish I had something more intersting to update with, but I don't. The plane rides have been good, and I'm seriously lacking in sleep!
Oh! Interacters will appreciate this! I saw Stephen Lewis in the airport!
There were a couple people on my plane wearing swine flu masks, but it's not like outbreak or anything. That's good.
This will be my last update untill I'm on my way back, love ya'll, miss ya!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I Brake For Kosher Bacon.
Hey guys,
Long time no update, eh? Heh, woops. I forget I have a blog periodically, and plus, I've been writing so much for school, the fun has been sucked out of it. But, alas, alack, kerplack, I am updating. Here is a list of what my blog shall entail:
My 18th birthday is on a Friday this coming January. This is my God given right to goto Alberta.
Fiddler of the Roof: if I were a biddy biddy rich idle, didle, dydle (wo)man. Seriously, WATCH THIS!
Homework is going to be the death of me, oh sweet jesus. I can barley take it, I've had like nine breakdowns so far. Especially one during yoga today. I was all om shanti shanti one minute, and then, I was all, going to cry the next. It wasn't a nice feeling, I should get that checked.
Okay, I think I have nearly covered everything. Oh yes, I've been feeling lonely lately, especially in English class. Ugh. Leper much? I wonder if Yenta the matchmaker has a match for me?
Mozel tov,
Sam.
Long time no update, eh? Heh, woops. I forget I have a blog periodically, and plus, I've been writing so much for school, the fun has been sucked out of it. But, alas, alack, kerplack, I am updating. Here is a list of what my blog shall entail:
- Swine Flu and my trip to Cuba, shit son.
- Homework
- Fiddler on the Roof
- My 18th birthday
- Cuba
- My near mental break down in yoga
My 18th birthday is on a Friday this coming January. This is my God given right to goto Alberta.
Fiddler of the Roof: if I were a biddy biddy rich idle, didle, dydle (wo)man. Seriously, WATCH THIS!
Homework is going to be the death of me, oh sweet jesus. I can barley take it, I've had like nine breakdowns so far. Especially one during yoga today. I was all om shanti shanti one minute, and then, I was all, going to cry the next. It wasn't a nice feeling, I should get that checked.
Okay, I think I have nearly covered everything. Oh yes, I've been feeling lonely lately, especially in English class. Ugh. Leper much? I wonder if Yenta the matchmaker has a match for me?
Mozel tov,
Sam.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Yoga;People;Photography;Art;Stress;Going Green
Hey all, long time no blog, eh? I've been busy with so much school work, and other things. So, I shall update.
I don't know where I will start, hmm. I am actually going to pick up my camera tomorrow! I am going to walk to school and take some photos on my way there. It will feel really nice to actually produce something after my impromptu hiatus. I love the creative process. Which reminds me, I should really start drawing again. And painting, man art suffers when you're busy with school.
Lael says: (10:46:23 PM)
well they start july 6, and through summer, and there is a model, (we need to be 17+ ) and its 10 dollas a drop in, tuesday nights 7-9 k?
Sorry, needed to remember that.
Anywhoo! I just totally got distracted from writing this blog.
ADD-a-liciously yours,
Sam.
I don't know where I will start, hmm. I am actually going to pick up my camera tomorrow! I am going to walk to school and take some photos on my way there. It will feel really nice to actually produce something after my impromptu hiatus. I love the creative process. Which reminds me, I should really start drawing again. And painting, man art suffers when you're busy with school.
Lael says: (10:46:23 PM)
well they start july 6, and through summer, and there is a model, (we need to be 17+ ) and its 10 dollas a drop in, tuesday nights 7-9 k?
Sorry, needed to remember that.
Anywhoo! I just totally got distracted from writing this blog.
ADD-a-liciously yours,
Sam.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Streptoccocus? I think that's how you spell it. I could probably draw it.
I have step throat, go me! woot! I live for the days when I can swallow (food and drink kids, jeepers), without the searing pain of a branding iron being shoved down my throat, and then having that pain shoot to my ears on the muscle highway. Enough self pity though!
I have mixed feelings about school on Monday... well mostly PANIC, I have done NOTHING, that is due, I'm magical that way. So, I am starting Friday and pulling a wonderful series of all nighters, in true Sam fashion.
I am going to start taking pictures again and posting them on my other blog, which I encourage you guys to look at and comment, the zero is depressing! (Click here) Plain, I know, lame title, I know. It used to be called something pretentious and witty, but it also set the content that I was going to post on there, but I decided to change direction, so NOW, we're going to have two Sam blogs.
THIS ONE: Personal stuff, rants, things meant for your guys, emotion break downs
THE OTHER ONE: CLICK THIS LINK HERE: Pictures I have taken, interesting links, observations, just that is sort of personal, but not really? Yanno? Expect a more formal writing format for that blog, since it's public. The next paragraph is going to be brough tto you with no vowels, becasue I can.
sprng brk fr m hs bn knd bd. Sck fr mst, fghtng th thr hlf, grt stff. Ppl, rlly nd 2 grw p.
Okay, that's too hard. I started this blog like four hours ago and then just saved it as a draft and went about my day, I really have nothing to write now, I totally lost my flow.
Strepto-liciously yours,
Sam.
I have mixed feelings about school on Monday... well mostly PANIC, I have done NOTHING, that is due, I'm magical that way. So, I am starting Friday and pulling a wonderful series of all nighters, in true Sam fashion.
I am going to start taking pictures again and posting them on my other blog, which I encourage you guys to look at and comment, the zero is depressing! (Click here) Plain, I know, lame title, I know. It used to be called something pretentious and witty, but it also set the content that I was going to post on there, but I decided to change direction, so NOW, we're going to have two Sam blogs.
THIS ONE: Personal stuff, rants, things meant for your guys, emotion break downs
THE OTHER ONE: CLICK THIS LINK HERE: Pictures I have taken, interesting links, observations, just that is sort of personal, but not really? Yanno? Expect a more formal writing format for that blog, since it's public. The next paragraph is going to be brough tto you with no vowels, becasue I can.
sprng brk fr m hs bn knd bd. Sck fr mst, fghtng th thr hlf, grt stff. Ppl, rlly nd 2 grw p.
Okay, that's too hard. I started this blog like four hours ago and then just saved it as a draft and went about my day, I really have nothing to write now, I totally lost my flow.
Strepto-liciously yours,
Sam.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sick.
I had great hopes for this blog post last night, now I completely forget what I was going to put in it. I am also a little loopy off of cold medicine. I swear to God, I can't listen to this song anymore! Ugh! There we go, Joel Plaskett is better than Zydrate Anatomy. Ohkay, calm. I went out to lunch with mum and grandma today, it was the same old. I didn't really taste my food because I can't breathe through my nose... also, when chewing when your nose is plugged causes breathing problems, and then you almost suffocate eating your sweet and sour pork. It's a sad sad ordeal. My stomach and lungs hurt from coughing, ugh. I am a walking viral plague. I rented the Secret Life of Bees and the Haunting of Molly Hartley to watch tonight. I am pretty excited, I don't do good with scary movies by my self, but we'll see.
Germ-matically yours,
Sam.
Germ-matically yours,
Sam.
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