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Monday, June 7, 2010

Same Ghost Every Night (Wolf Parade)

I'm having one of those moments where my mind is so busy, that talking about what is on my mind is futile; what am I supposed to talk about when I have everything to talk about?  My senior year is coming to an end in nine days (but who's counting?) and grad is in eighteen (again, who's counting?).  My last few weeks have been nothing short of stressful.  Everything just happened all at ones: friend stuff, school stuff, boy stuff.  Now, I am trying to compartmentalize and just make it through these next few weeks; this is harder than one would think.  I know in the back of my mind, that these silly high school love triangles are nothing short of ridiculous, but for some reason, I am still affected by them.  Being involved is some akin to beating your head against a brick wall, repeatedly for a long period of time.  That being said, my last year at SPSS hasn't been all horrible.  I have had some really fun times: made new friends, new memories, new connections.  I'm not even going to lie about finding myself and blah, blah, blah.  I am still just as identity confused as I was when I first stepped foot in the public school system of DC in grade seven... only this time there is less eyeliner and angst.
Now, this is going to probably evolve into a mushy grad post, but oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  I don't even know who reads this anymore.
Anyway...
I am floored that we made it to 2010.  It seemed, starting highschool three years ago, it was never going to end.  To me, it seemed as though it was going to last forever, there was nothing beyond the blue doors of SPSS.  Never, had it occurred to me, that grade twelve would happen, and the impending future would catch up to us all.  The future was just another F word we all used, dreamed about, but never was really a solid piece of matter... until now.  The future just isn't a word or a concept anymore, the future is becoming our present, and we all have to be ready for it.  It's still a foreign thought to think that next year, we're all going to be in university spread out throughout Canada.  I mean, I'm going to Vancouver (oh yeah, btw the I got unto UBC Vancouver, HUZZAH!), most seem to be going to Prince George, and others elsewhere, some staying in the Mile 0.  It all doesn't feel real to me, I still feel like there is some cosmic joke being played.
Graduation is just around the corner, and then that's it.  South Peace is over for us.  We become students of University of British Columbia, Emily Carr, Simon Fraser and assorted other schools.  No longer do we walk the cramped hallways.
Looking back on my highschool experience, it was pretty good.  I have grown so much, as so have my peers... well some of them... we all grew up (or didn't) with eachother and now we are all moving onto to grow some more with new people in a new setting.  It's bittersweet in a way, happy yet sad.  As of now, it doesn't matter who Johnny is banging or who Sally is wheelin'... what matters now is keeping the connections with the people we grew with the most and also giving eachother room to grow some more.  I refuse to recite our ridiculous grad rhyme.  REFUSE... but hey... we did it... we made it through... maybe a little bruised and worse for ware, but it was an adventure in a book we can all soon close.

1 comment:

Ari said...

Grad 2010, We like men. Grad 2010, Lick a hen.... Anyone got anything better? Please?